Tuesday, December 3, 1996 in the evening hour, darkness swallowed me whole…unexplainable emotions. I don’t remember much, except tears, and a long drive home. I was with my brother and I asked him, “what do we do now?” He didn’t answer. I asked again, “what’s going to happen now?” There was silence for some time, and then he said, “It has to be ok. We’ll make it through.” I couldn’t grasp the concept of being ok and making it through. How? I was in denial. I imagined my mother being on vacation and coming back any day. Life would proceed as normal as before. That never happened of course, but for years I dreamt of her return…I would see her and think, “She’s back at last, she never really left after all.” The truth is, that she never did leave. I know this now, she’s here always. Though I miss her…her scent, her beauty, the way she fixed her hair… Eighteen years…it never gets easier.
“…We’ll meet once again, where the sky meets the earth. I’ll meet you at the horizon…”