The heart is a strong organ. It beats. It feels. It’s alive. And when a little part of it flakes, it’s always the same little piece. As it begins to grow new healing cells, it gets scrapped again. Splinters stuck, protruding from the innocent place. The place where all good resides, and no evil can touch. The delicate and thin layer starts the process again…
In life…. One must flow with the current and find the wave that moves with own familiar river. I did not belong in these waters. The new circumstances were influencing me too much. I was becoming a different species, one without a home, like some unrecognizable beast. But I need to swim in my own ocean, breathe my own air, live my own life. And when I finally returned to the safety of my own imperfect human being, I began to question; Was I part of some strange and wicked game? Was I a blind pawn? …
Being on the sidelines, looking in, I don’t like what I see. In my world, there is certain decorum and behavior that operates accordingly. One can call them codes. And there are many codes people follow. People speak of guy code, friendship code, workplace code. Some stick with keeping them, and some don’t. What and who matters? Does a code not apply here? Does it really have any importance at all? This code should have been untouchable. But people make up these rules and codes to relay on, yet they break them. With one word, phrase or action. All is gone. A wicked game remains. Put away the pieces. Fold up the board game. The fifty/fifty dice roles for the last time. Slow and painful demise. It won’t leave peacefully. In grave silence, it will fight, hoping someone is listening, for someone to say something. It will fight a long and an intense fight with every memory, desire, love, and pain. It’s going to want to come back and spread its sorrow, masked with golden threaded joy. And it will continue to create war among the lies and truth. Until it gives up. Until the truth shatters the glass box. Until air fills the lungs and we can breath again. Until we can love again. Until we can live again… in the truth…