I’m walking through a dense forest, the sun is piercing through the leaves. It’s a beautiful day. It doesn’t take me long to get to the clearing. It is a great meadow with wild flowers covering the field. In the middle, stands a white wooden building, resembling a small church. A voice tells me, this is my soul’s home. I walk closer, there are two figures guarding the entrance. One is a female and the other a male. I recognize them, and understand their presence. They smile and open the great door. I walk into the building and approach the front. At the altar table lay many gifts. These are the gifts from God. I am told to choose one of them. I reach for a box. I am instructed to open it and receive the gift. I unfold the box and take out a heart, a strong, vivid red heart. The message that comes through is to give and receive love. I hold the heart in my hand and understand its importance, then it turns into a feather and I place it in my shirt pocket. My attention quickly turns as a bright light beams down on me through the heavens, and I feel its warmth. I am lifted up by two angels, and weightlessly we float back to the entrance of my soul’s home. The doors open and as I step outside, two people are waiting for me. One is my precious daughter, the other my patient husband. Great joy fills me and I smile. I walk over to them and take their hands. The three of us, together, walk back through the meadow. We are going home.
These images appeared during a deep meditation exercise. I didn’t resist any of it; I allowed the feelings and pictures to come, so I can gain a better understanding of myself. I believe this is my heart’s truth.
I also believe that I’ve always loved him. My husband was my knight in shining armor. He came to my life unexpectedly and I welcomed him with open arms because I wanted to be seen, I wanted to be loved. He broke down my serious emotional barriers. Low self-esteem, gone; physical intimacy issues, gone; loneliness, gone. I pushed every button to test his commitment. Nothing budged him. He stood strong. He loved me. I showed him all of my flaws, dark sides, and weaknesses without any hesitations. He stood strong. He loved me. I shared my heart’s beauty and kindness. He loved me even more. It was easy to love him back. He didn’t run. He didn’t give up. He wasn’t afraid. He held me tight. And then one day the ropes became loose and I didn’t feel so safe anymore. I asked for more. He didn’t understand my request. I began to speak but he didn’t understand my language. I was changing, so was he. Our love is present still because we care. But is love enough? I believe it is. I believe that if two people want something to happen, it can. In the most difficult situations, when both still fight, and still see a reason to be together, then they will.
And there is another truth that came out of this exercise. Why do certain people enter our life? I think the answer is- ripple effect. One event must happen, so another can follow. The Universe knows precisely what to do. I’m being patient because I understand, this isn’t random. This selection is strategic. I’ve already seen the ripple effect take shape. My writing, for example, would have not surfaced if I wasn’t inspired. Is this the reason? Perhaps. But I think that’s only the tip of the iceberg. The universe is much greater than our human mind. My tiny imagination is nothing compared to the real life story that is written by the true creator. So what do I do? I follow my mantra: accept, surrender and be patient. Whatever situation I find myself in, I’m learning to accept without judgment, over analyzing or attachment of unnecessary emotions. Next, I surrender to what is in the moment, the now. Surrender is not the same as giving up. Surrender is the most powerful notion I can apply. It means I’m welcoming and not blocking the universe’s plan. I trust that It knows best. Lastly, patience is a virtue, and it is my weakest. I’ve always wanted instant gratification. Now, I know, there is no real purpose of thinking what tomorrow will bring because it will bring whatever it is supposed to. I tell myself that there is nothing to rush. There is no reason to speed up the journey of life. Physical time is an illusion. This moment is all that there really is. So, I accept, surrender and am patient. This is my truth…What’s yours?