I still wonder, though not as often, about the process and the outcome. The present moment. The Now. How did I get here? What events aligned to make this journey this and not another? I don’t want to rehash the past, but I suppose I should, to allow reflection and growth. I would describe it as a tunnel. My mind and heart were both narrowly guided by stories, dreams and deep emotional dependency. Any thought, decision, or idea seem to bounce off the walls of the tunnel. That’s where I wanted to stay, hoping… quietly, unnoticeably hoping for an ending that only the brilliant of minds could dream up. Yes. I was there, every single day walking, and constantly hitting that glass boundary. And if I thought of a break away, if I did anything that’s outside of that dream, I knew it would be over and I surely didn’t want that… The tunnel was safe. It was narrow and predictable. I was accustomed to the patterns of the roller-coaster highs and lows. But it was exhausting. So, I prayed. I prayed and prayed for a miracle. I needed a miracle. And it came. Not in the form I expected, of course; but not much does, these days… It was a perfect execution of a ride speeding down. Crashing. Heavily. Dramatic scene. Even though all parties walked away on their own two feet, the emotional damage was unparalleled. Can’t turn back time to take away what one sees, hears or feels… That was the moment. That was the point where everything changed, and the walls of the tunnel began to crumble. Not much, but enough. Enough to know better, to make changes…but mostly to follow other signs… After that there were multiple important events that opened the walls even further. One of them being, the trip of a lifetime. Yes, it’s that important, I’ll say, “lifetime.” Love really can do wonders… Loving more. Loving the experiences more, the hurts and the blessings. All of it. Being grateful for all that is here in me and for me, has unblocked the energy flow. I’ve been wanting to let go, let go, let go; even of the ones I loved. But that’s not the answer. How could it ever be? It’s going against the principle of love. So, I did let go, but only of the idea of ‘letting go.’ It erased any moral struggles. It permitted this weightlessness flow freely and abundantly without any thought interruptions. The tunnels, cages, boundaries or limitations no longer held me compressed or tightened. And the energy expanded to a capacity of enormous space, which is within me and around me. That’s what this newness feels like… Vast. Free. Moving… in, out… Waves.