With Deep Regret

With Deep Regret

I’m numb. I feel so much, it’s numbing. I did what I never imagined doing. In anger and frustration, some strange and powerful force took over, and I spilled anything and everything that came.  Like a loaded gun, and all the triggers were pulled, one by one. I couldn’t take the past being brought up. I couldn’t take the accusations, questions and lies. I was being interrogated again. I couldn’t take it! The gun fired!  My mind was not functioning rationally, and I let, whatever embodied me, to take over and voice information that should have never been spoken. And if I was asked at this moment, what exactly did I say; I don’t know. I only know, I’ve said things I shouldn’t have, but in what order or in what sentence or for what God damn reason, I have no recollection.  It was wrong… and I’m sorry. I hurt people I didn’t want to hurt. I wanted to fix. I wanted to make it right…I can’t take it back, but if I could I would.. All of it. God, how I wish I could.

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