It’s hard. No one said it wouldn’t. Just me, perhaps. I thought it would be somehow easier… to step out and never return… Even with all the bad or unjust, there is still so much good, and true, and right. And that’s what I remember. I fight it, of course. I weight it down with what I certainly know was wrong, but why is it that, for some reason, it doesn’t quite matter. Why is it that forgiveness is a stationed virtue of mine, which works very sufficiently when it comes to this. Though, maybe it isn’t about forgiveness. It seems to be more about respect and worth… Of self. If one allows to go back to the place where the wrongs originate, then obviously they have lost these two values. I know, I have them. Respect and worth are build within me… always a conscious woman. So, why and how is this different? Why don’t I feel what I should under the circumstances? I know what I know, and one thing is for certain… We hurt. Inside we hurt. We hurt each other, accidentally we made some mistakes. We can’t take them back, and there aren’t many options to compensate the damage. How do we deal with the wind of thoughts that swirls once in a while?… The reminders of the unexplainable… Or maybe we don’t. Maybe we don’t have to deal with anything at all. No actions, no reaction. No motivation, no creation…
Though, I do wish- It wouldn’t be so damn hard.
Yours Truly,
– Fighting the changing weather… Where is the barometer when you need one?