Expressing truth with words can be a beautiful way to tell someone how one feels. Love or hurt. Both are important truths… Undeniably something somewhere still lives and breaths, a living organism on its own terms. Though what I feel changed through time, and events, and things that brought light to the present him or rather us… I feel tenderness when hearing some things that should most probably never be spoken. He doesn’t know any better. He has no idea what my body absorbes. Like a child without the ability to predict what and how another might feel of certain subjects, topics. I am not upset at him for being honest. No, not at all. I see it as a gift. I see it as something quite extraordinary. The truth, what hurts brings the light from within… How? Let me explain. It’s been a resent discovery.
With each blind word a bullet flies right at me. It pierces a hole in my body. There are dozens of such bullets shooting, but non bleed me. The holes are different sizes. Some tiny, and some big. It appears my body is full of these piercings and what shines through, is this Godly brightness. So, the things that hurt me most, do not extinguish what they probably should. On the contrary, they open my wounds and shine right out. As I become vulnerable in the mists of darkness, something lights up my fears, worries, hesitations, uncertainties, lost dreams, abandoned love. I feel empowered and honest in my own right.
Self love. Self gratitude. Self care. It’s an inside job of healing and shining as brightly as I ever had. And then once again, I feel His full amazing grace, His amazing presence, His amazing gift of life. And I remember,
God is good.
Yours Truly,
Ability.