Timing is certainly everything. In life we wait for those perfect windows of opportunity to open wide and free. We know exactly why things seem to happen at a given moment. We can see the ripple effect of time. Yes, time is so special and true and quite the escape artist. We can’t own it, we can’t have it, yet it does belong to us only in that exact second of the pure NOW… So, purposefully we look into the past to examine, to draw some conclusions, or recognize clues. Like detectives, we search for patterns, after all, life is a type of intricate pattern of events, emotions, physical, not physical, a ball of enormously vivid energy. So, when I sat there just in that moment of NOW, when the phone was off, and I no longer heard the voice that seemed to be so confusing, and confused, and loud and not for me to take; the little bell rang, “Three years to the date. Madison.” And that was my moment. It was time.
December 11, 2020
The next day my mind and body were stock in the “nowhere” of emotions. I went for a run. That always seem to help move Shakti through the channels of darkness. And She came, the goddess of all creation and destruction… Fire. I need fire. I need to burn the thread which holds me knotted… The ritual of this release was freeing. I took my time. After about an hour, it was ready. Open to the invitation of all emotions; the present and the past rushed through me. It was powerful. It was intense. I felt it all, and with full intention of my heart’s truth, I burned the thread. I lied there still for some time. Letting it sink in. Really sink in. The sensation of blood in my veins streaming, cells igniting, blasting Shakti into action. She opened her arms and embrace Shiva. Oh how I’ve missed you, my dear one. He comforted her, and told her he’ll protect her always, he will always love her, he will always be her peace. And I wept with joy for the reunion of my inner marriage, the Divine union of consciousness and energy. Oh, I’m whole and complete again. I wept with grief of losing the other, but finding my own self. I wept for the life I desire, I deserve, I long for… I wept and laughed, and rested there in my light, in my truth, and mostly in my LOVE.
Yes, all there is, is the present moment. And everything can change… in the blink of an eye. In One heartbeat. One breath? In anyway we say it, everything can change just through the power of a different thought. We can jump from one life to another. One perspective to another. Thus creating a very different reality. And so I hop. Hop. Hop. Hop. Back and forth, and side to side. We have this power to absolutely change everything in our life, just by the mere change of a thought or perception. AMAZING!
Going back to the story of the perfect timing… I wasn’t expecting to go down like that. But I was certainly not surprised that it did. Energy has been shifting since mid November, for one reason or another. But agreements can be negotiated. They can be redesigned and replaced with another workable plan. No one said it is set in stone. One missing element was communication. It just wasn’t being expressed, until that day… To believe, his guilt and her anger were the culprit then, the alliance wasn’t strong enough to withhold such meek excuses for the fall out. One thing I know for sure is that Love is not time bound. It has no limit. And if this love has ran out of steam, then there is a lot to examine… (Maybe another time)…
It takes one thought. Just one thought. To move from here to there or someplace else. So where do you want to be?
I feel a great impact on what has concluded. Deep, deep, deep void. I have nothing to say to no one. I don’t feel like talking. Smiling. Even breathing seems a challenge. Life has no interest lately… I’m not sure if this is part of the process or if it’s trying to show me something else… Time should help.