Messages

Messages

I receive these important messages from the most unusual sources. They come very sporadically, but their timing is significant. Today, it happend on two occasions… It must have been a special day. The first one came after the website’s shutdown. Even though I was updating the server, I was seriously contemplating on keeping it unavailable for a while to give it some space, not to be a distraction to others and myself.  However, the message came and shortly after the realization that perhaps it should be visible to the public, for whatever reason. So, I did what I thought was right and turned it back on… The second message; however, was bewildering.  It came this evening from the least expected person, yet someone that seems to look at life through another lens. I listen to his theory and his ideas, as he tells me, looking at some old photographs, that I’ve changed, that I use to look naturally happy, that my face had a brighter glow. He continues saying that there is a presence in me that is of a different standard, that I belong to a different class of people, not the average like he and the others seeing at the table, but of a higher level.  I listened and said nothing. Though I knew he didn’t mean better than others, or of greater financial status, I still wasn’t sure what he was trying to say.  He continued implying that there is a space and reason for everyone on this planet and this one is not for me.  That the cause for my inner change is due to the lack of pursuing my true calling.  Then, I became speechless because this was the part I did understand. This person knows very little about me, yet he found something that is not visible to the eye, but recognizable through another avenue… Maybe spiritual, or maybe through careful observation of my home, my actions, and my conversations. I don’t know, but I was struck by the details and by the very simple truth in his words. Because deep, deep inside I know, I don’t belong here, I know that this is some temporary stop before I arrive at another destination. I always knew that, I just don’t know what it is that I should be moving towards. Then again, maybe that’s the whole point. In the journey of life we do not know, but still move forward following some inner instinct. And if I receive a message and it feels right, then that’s where I should be turning… 

The timing for this particular message was of interesting coincidence, if it really was just a coincidence. For some time now I was slowly releasing the idea of anything changing, I was accepting my reality and I was ok with settling, after all this is not a bad life to have, there is not much to complain about or not to be happy with. I even made a list, like some educated professionals suggest… check, check, check, check… All was good, until I realized I was just persuading myself to believe in something I myself was not fully convinced of. And what I ended up doing was making a good argument, a strong case for myself, which only covered the unexplainable yearning to identify my life’s true calling… This is why timing and the unexpected messages were so crucial today… They reminded me to follow that instinct and not to reason with it, since the Universe does not need a justification. 

 

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