Courage-less

Courage-less

Another sleepless night… the mind is like an endless train, thought after thought, after thought… followed by ideas, dreams, expectations, disappointments, worries, doubts, questions, questions and more questions. Why doesn’t is just stop? Why can’t I jump off this wild train and watch it go by? The crazy thing is that I know why. It’s because I’m afraid that without the train, there will be nothing. I won’t exist and I will be no one. This is who I am. Or so I believe this is who I am.  I listen to the heart, I listen to the mind. I focus on the heart, and yet, it seems like the ego is talking. I’m confused about which one is actually taking stage. It’s exhausting and I’m tiered. I’m tiered of not understanding myself and not being able to answer simple questions. What do I really want out of this life? Or rather what does this life want out of me? I’m only a human. A simple form filled with energy that is moving a million miles a minute. I’m only a human with a life assigned to me. But will this ever be enough? I’m afraid that without the feelings and without the dreams I will become a useless body, a wasted mind, and an empty heart. Where is my courage today?  

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