“I hear voices in the nighttime… I see angels in the sky… No one could ever tell me why… Am I crazy… I’m alright…”
Three months without any writing. Painting. or any other creative expression. Quiet. But not useless… There has been the ultimate Divine artist creating something magnificent and the only ingredient She needs is time.
So much has happened this year. So much yet to happen. If I would to write every detail, it would be a book, no doubt there is content for a unique read. I’m not there yet. I feel the story is in beautiful progress. I observe, I feel, I act… It is life changing. Divorce is such a delicate play between all the participants. And the most interesting awareness for me, is how the veils of illusion portray the cultural and social chains. We are free. Yet, we feel something or someone has the power over our greatest self. What a lie! NO one has any control over anyone. The only one who does, is our own self. The ego imprisons us with its illusions. Everything which was learned, not born with. Guilt. Jealousy. Abandonment. Grief. Responsibility. Ownership. Money. Contracts. Marriage… The list seems endless. The only way out is to recognize that it’s all an absolute lie. And that the truth is …. Hmmm! The truth is… Holy. Holy. Holy. To feel it, to experience it, takes a whole lots of curiosity and courage to dive into the darkness to reach the light. Without the darkness, one will not be able to know light.
I’ve learned no matter which way I try to explain it, or even maybe convince others of that truth, it’s pointless. Every one of us has a choice to continue living in the fog, or to break through. There is no judgment, no right or wrong way to live. However, for me, there seemed to be little choice. It was between living or dieing. Healing or bleeding. Growing or wilting…. I chose to trust my inner voice and go beyond the walls of everything I thought I knew, learned and was possible. And damn! I’m so glad I did! ‘Cause it saved my life.
Holy. Holy. Holy. Oh how it did.
Amen.