Maybe I’m here because this is one place I can just be. I can let my heart pour out. There is no one to judge. No one to explain and teach, and blame. Maybe I’m here because I’m trying to remember who I was and what makes me, me. I’ve been missing my heart. My soul searching for the truth. Did I really give up? Did I really walk away? Was it really too hard?
I don’t know.
I’m still searching through my memory. The glimpses of past, like photographs flash before me. I remember feeling in-love, loved and loving. I remember recognizing patterns and working through them. I remember breathing and staying with emotions before reacting. I remember finding appropriate words to share my feelings, so I don’t upset another. I remember swallowing my truth for peace. I remember slowly, oh so very slowly my light dimming each time she was being silenced. I remember her sadness. I remember her pain. I remember her hope… and I also remember her truth… This is not where I want to be.