This morning I looked at myself closely into the mirror. I noticed all the delicate, yet visible wrinkles. Each one represents the worries and joys of my life. I look into my gray-blue eyes. They are glazed with some type of sadness, yet still full of hope. Who am I? I ask myself, again. Who am I? … I am a mother, wife, daughter, sister, friend, teacher, writer, painter, realist, dreamer, and anything else I want to be… I always thought to be a responsible and in control individual. I made choices that would better my future, and set clear goals and aspirations. I worked hard to accomplish what I set my mind and heart on. I rarely failed because there was always another way. If one didn’t work then a new plan did. There was no such thing as giving up. Surrendering to lesser than, was never an option. I believed to be strong and independent because life experiences taught me this from an early age. I never accepted pity or charity from others, for I looked at it as a weakness. I was proud of myself and I knew others close to me were too. I was going in the right direction. Not everything was perfect, because I didn’t strive for perfection. But life was good. I sacrificed for my family’s well-being. And even though at times I cried myself to sleep because I placed my own needs and wants somewhere in the back, I didn’t know any other way. I believed that things will get better and I will work to accomplish it; after all I can do anything…And then one day a great shift occurred, as if I was waiting for it; as if it was placed there on purpose. It asked of me: “Will you dare?” And I did. Blindly I leaped with everything I had. I didn’t look back until it was too late. I drifted away from the shore and now I am in the middle of nowhere. I am lost. I see land and I want to swim back to the person I once was, but I don’t know how because I also don’t want that same life. I’ve been called names that do not belong to me. I’ve been judged, contempt, and shamed for choices I have made. Though I have not done anything as others have said I did; I have failed. I have failed to protect. I do not wish to accept these feelings of self-worthlessness; however, they are reminding me of my failure and guilt. The main corporate of my discomfort is guilt for hurting those who I love… So, where am I at this moment? Alone. I stand alone. I don’t feel sad. In fact, I don’t feel anything. Emptiness. Everyone makes choices that feel right to them at a given time. My intension isn’t to question or comprehend them because I wouldn’t understand it anyways. I know I’ll find my way. It will take time. How long? I don’t know. But I’ll be ok. I’m alive; I am still breathing… All I can do is hope and pray for a safe arrival at the life I am meant to live and the person I want to be…Hope, please don’t fail me…