My first…

My first…

“No one puts BB in a corner!” 

This is my first relationship. The most important relationship. Relationship with self… She died a thousands deaths, and was born a thousand lives.  She’s the one who wakes me to feel and experience everything I have not yet known to feel or experience.

Welcome.” I said. And she smiled, quietly exhaling, “I’ve been waiting my whole life for this.”

“Hey girl! Look at me. Hold your head up, you’re safe.” I gave her my hand. “Do you trust me?” 

She smiled again, and uttered, “The question is, my dear, do YOU trust me?”

“I do. I do! I do trust you!”

“Good.” She continued, “Finally!”  …BB was always right. On quiet days, I hear her breathing, slowly… Always.

… I’ve decided, irreversibly, some time ago that this is forever. This is me. The true me… The best of me.

I’ve accept the changes of each coming day.   Now, with a more tender and quiet heart. I don’t know what will, could or should happen; though my dreams seem to have a clearer idea.

The answers to everything in life are not some mystery, I think. They are as clear as you want to see them. Maybe not at this very moment. But we all have answers. Give them time. They will come.

When I asked BB about heartbreak. She told me, it’s like everything you ever loved was yanked away and thrown into a bottomless well; including yourself.  When I asked about love, she said, it’s like everything that was yanked away and thrown into a bottomless well, Come Back to you… including yourself… 

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