It’s official. I’m a divorced woman. 10/22/2021. I’m not sure how I feel about it. There is a certain elevation of the feelings which have been stuck in a waiting room for months, maybe even years. And just like the elevation, there is a tragic fall into the depth of me. With the release of all that has been desired, I find myself grieving the life I have built, the labels which I married to, and the roles I was assigned. Is this freedom? Freedom of what? I was never imprisoned yet, the box of marriage always felt that I owe something to someone, and that I carried this huge responsibility for someone else’s happiness. My own was the last vow to consider. It was killing me inside. I was killing myself, slowly and painfully. Settling into a life that was not meant for me. My yearning soul begged for connection. Communication. Deep intimacy. Deeper LOVE! We have become strangers, yet we know each other best. We have separated, yet will be connected forever. Children. Our children will be raised in a broken home, but not a broken family. My commitment and promise is to keep them safe, give them more love than ever, and showing the best version of me! I want them to witness that courage, and sacrifice is part of living a rich and authentic life. That following one’s dreams and going beyond the social boundaries of who we “should” be is not a fairy tale story. That we can have the life we imagine, and have courage to live it. Here I am! Here I am! It’s scary, and exciting! Possibilities! To expand my own realm of possibilities! Oh! This is going to be something! This is going to be the best ride yet!
~ And with that….. Compassion…. Compassion for everyone involved. Gently and with grace, I ask for an easy transition into the new for us all…