Lily-of-the-Valley was my mother’s favorite flower. A rare find, she delighted when I brought her a bouquet of these white delicate bells. The potent sweet smell filled the house. I too, now enjoy the fragrance in my kitchen. The flower is at its top peek in mid May, and my aunt has plenty of them growing in her backyard. Yesterday during the late morning, I stopped by to pick some. We stood in her driveway for ten minutes or so, chatting. Her street is not a busy one, but there were a few cars passing. That’s when I saw him, driving by… Pretty sure… I paused for a second. Did he even see me? I doubt. But my body’s reaction is what I find strange. Not the mind. For I already decided where I stand. I’m at peace with that, my heart is too. Yet. it didn’t react that way at all. It began to beat a bit faster and my belly got that funny flutter feeling going. Strange things.
As I got into my car, the Lily-of-the-Valley’s sweetness abounded the inside. The beloved scent instantly took me back to the good old times when I was a little girl and my mom was just a touch away.
What’s the link? Why her and him? Strange things. In my dreams, they both show up together, but not interacting… What’s the connection? My mother was very open and expressive about that chapter of my life. When I accessed the light side, she let me know, it was a gift to love in such way. And at that time, her blessing was all I needed to hear.
Strange things. It’s not where I am now. It’s not what I need. Nor, what I want. Not at all. Not that way. I don’t ever want it, that way, again! I want it through pleasure and joy. No space for suffering, for struggling, for hiding. Today, I feel free of that love. After all, isn’t love about freedom? Love will set you free? So, what is this strange movement which is shifting my energy. Why now? What’s the purpose? What’s the need? I find it insidious. A deceitful illusion. What does it want from me now? Because let me tell “it”, I got nothing more to give.
In this physical world things can be forgotten. Physical things can be taken away. Memory and perception of what once was, can leave from our primary experience. People leave. Thoughts, memories, emotions are part of this world that we live as humans.
On the other side, realm, reality, dimension or world- EVERYTHING is remembered. Everything is experienced in given moment. Time elapse does not exist. Memory of ALL that is embodied and out-of-bodied is felt in such magnitude that it can not and does not sustain in the physical world …And, yes, the “it” and whom which was once connected, indeed does not leave. Not there. No. There it’s imprinted forever… But, here, it can. And so it has.
Strange things.
#nothingmoretogive #livingforpleasure #nomoresuffering #loveneverdies #whynow? #whatstheconnection?